Really, I have been working, really...

Since we moved and started renovating the house, I haven't had time to blink, much less keep up with posting. Its finally under control (well, sort of, almost....sigh...). But I had a few minutes to post new work, so I thought I'd share here too. I like it, what do you think?

Gypsy Silver Earrings

Dual Disc Copper

Dual Disc Copper

Dual Disc Copper

HOOPS!

Fancy Hoops!

Sea Glass and Copper Coils

Turquoise and Sterling

That felt good!  And I am so grateful for that ;)

The Zen Oxymoron of Perfection

I remember while reading about Japanese art a long time ago, that it is the imperfections which make an artwork perfect, desirable. What a life changing idea. If there is no flaw, there is no uniqueness. If an item is unique, it is perfect. I love Zen circles.

I think that having that thought in the back of my mind all these years has kept me from completely losing it at more than a few points in my life. Somehow that tucked away concept kept me going when I was at my most ‘unworthy’.

There have been an awful lot of close calls with losing it…

I could list all the bad choices, rough roads, etc ad nauseum, but I won’t. I have discovered that far from being utterly alone in my imperfect state, it’s crowded in here. We all have this kind of stuff we carry around, doing our damndest to ensure that no one else knows how unlovable we are.

The last few years, in trying to shed this need to be perfect, I have had some setbacks, with me clinging to the idea of attaining that perfection like it was the air I needed to breathe. It matters less to me now. I like me most of the time. I like me a lot actually, and if there are people out there who don’t, well-their loss. Seems to me those folks are the ones dancing the perfection polka the hardest. It used to cut me to the core when I would get blown off/ignored/overlooked because of some perceived imperfection (insert “not whatever enough” of your choice here) I possessed, now the cuts are shallower and I am beginning to feel sorry for them, that they will not know me.

It hits me the hardest when I see my 7 year old son struggle with what other people think of him. All my past pains become sharper, and I see what I have lost by allowing the pursuit of perfection to rule me. Watching him, that’s pain, a boo boo I can’t kiss and make go away, I have to offer him skills instead, skills to recognize and dismiss the utter soul suicide of assuming personal responsibility for everyone else’s happiness. And it’s really hard, since I am relatively new to those lessons myself. What bullshit. And no I don’t use those phrases with him.

My art, my jewelry is part of this epiphany. It isn’t perfect, but it is, in an oxymoronish Zen sort of way, and I like it that way, its individual, part of a journey, creative, part of me, birthed from a particular moment in my life, (hmmm, my son is all those things too, and more) it’s the kind of work that speaks to a person’s inner self. Not about karats, carats or anything else, except the connection. Maybe that’s why I give it away sometimes.

So two things born of me, my son and my jewelry, are giving me a new perspective, a rebirth of sorts My life is awesome.
I apologize to my husband for the insane amount of commas in this post, but I write the way I think....

I am simply letting go of the idea of impossible and doing my best to embrace my Zen-like uniqueness. And it feels good, and I am grateful for that.   oooohhhhmmmm

Out of the Margin

I have always found myself marginalized. I am honest enough with myself to know that it has been self inflicted, due to the usual litany of insecurities. But in the course of my incredible adventure as a mom, I am involved with my son’s school and have been forcing myself to be social, to come out of the margin and onto the main page. It’s hard, I stink at small talk, feel trivial, have no idea what other people find engaging, and am painfully shy on top of it all.

I have been selling my work, quietly, on line a bit at a time, for awhile and one of the other mothers discovered my etsy site, and purchased a big ol’ bunch for herself in June or thereabouts and ever since, she has been gently, persistently after me to do a party at her home. I finally did it, last Saturday night. The entire week prior I spent scared out of my mind, butterflies, hands shaking, wondering if anyone would believe I had suddenly contracted dengue fever.  Understand that the guest list was comprised mostly of other moms from our school and if I flopped, this was serious home turf, these were women I see and interact with on an almost daily basis, would I have to wear a bag over my head? put Evan in another school? oh crap.

The night arrived, and I was do or die brave and Juliann was so very gracious, so extremely incredibly generous, and so totally on my side. When I saw my work out on her table in her beautiful home, I actually calmed down. It looked amazing. I realized that I am good at this; I make beautiful original art jewelry. How great is that?

When the guests arrived, and start browsing, I could not believe the reaction I was getting, they liked it….a lot. They bought….a lot. They asked for special work…a lot. More parties. You aren’t charging enough. You’re talented. It’s beautiful. Can you make this...or that…? I cried happy all the way home.

I was out of the margins. And I like it...a lot.

And I am so very grateful to JuliAnn for scribbling in my margin, and showing me my wings.  I have such wonderful friends.

Zen and the art of vacationing

This is Evan meditating on the steps outside the American Indian Musuem. Zen isnt it? ;-)

I took Evan to see my brother (aka Ultra cool Uncle David) in Virginia for a week. Brother took us into DC just about everyday, even going so far as to get up at 5Am one windy rainy cold morning, drive into DC, stand in a windy rainy cold line for 2 hrs to get tickets to take Evan (and me) to the top of the Washington monument, then he drives all the way back to Virginia to get us, and trains it all the way back with us to go to the top. It was amazing, unbelievable view, even through the rain.

We did the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, the American Indian Museum, the American History Museum, The National Zoo, and Dave took Evan to the Spy museum, one day so that I could go to the National Gallery of Art. I cried standing in front of the Rodin, Rembrandt's and Degas. Absolutely speechless.

I brought supplies with me to get busy work done, wire, stones, etc....never even opened the case. I had grand ideas of making fabulous bracelets, earrings etc, while drinking tea late at night with Dave....ahh the best laid plans.......but the wine was great :-)

I did get back to work the last few days and am very happy with the outcome, will post pics of that in a few days.

I am so blessed, and grateful for my son, my mother, my brother, and of course, my husband. what a fortunate soul am I.

A Necklace

I like this piece. It was my first PMC 'construction'. When I first did the patina, it was blue & purple, reminded me of the bubbles when you are snorkeling or diving in the Keys. Now it looks like snorkeling or diving in Lake Okeechobee-LOL. I still like it.

My Etsy Store

I opened an Etsy store a few months ago, it's so exciting to see my work on the net. My husband took the pictures. I work in precious metal clay, sterling, copper and bronze sheet, sterling and fine silver wire, and just about anything else I can get my hands on. These pictures are just a couple of the pieces I posted.

I love working in my 'art room' as my almost 6 year old has dubbed it. My son will be asleep in his room across the hall, or so I think and everyonce in a while I'll hear "Mommy? are you still in the art room?" "yes baby" I'll say, then I hear a sleepy "thats good Mommy, I love you" "I Love you too, sweets" I say, and then with my filled up heart, I work on making something out of something else.

I love my life (yes even the braces)

The Art Room

I recently discovered jewelry. Making jewelry, string beads, forging, fusing, hammering, torching. Such forceful words that create such beauty. This is a bracelet I made from sterling silver wire, heavy links, with double jump rings to hold it together.

I love being in my art room. My terrific husband and I decided a year or so ago to turn the 'guest bedroom' into something that would actually get used. We dubbed it "The Art Room". I have a work bench, my (almost) six year old has his table, we both have our stashes of supplies, the only rule in the room is "dont give up". Pretty good rule.

My son has been the fuel for my creative fire. I had made a bunch of pieces, and was wearing them, getting compliments, always saying "thank you" never telling that I made the work. One day Ev decided to toot my horn for me, and when a woman in the grocery store asked about something I was wearing, he piped up "My mommy is a jewelry maker, you should get her to make you something" and he became my defacto marketing department.

What a great kid. I am so blessed