Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm still here

yes I am.

Phew, it’s been awhile. It has been one heck of a summer. There was a tooth abscess for Evan (on his only filling, go figure that), serious back surgery for Mom, arthritis induced broken neck for my aunt, hysterectomy for me, shingles for me, seriously ill sister in law, juggling Evans camp and activity schedule, trying to keep DH happy (LOL not easy with a hysterectomy recovery) , it never stopped, the entire summer. Oh, and the vacations I seriously needed: cancelled. Sigh, it’s all good though.

And it’s left me feeling woefully inadequate. I can hear all of you now, telling me that’s silly, I know, just doesn’t feel that way. While it was all happening, I felt I was doing the best I could, just can’t help feeling I could have done better -with Mom especially. I totally sucked at that. She’s had a really tough time recovering from the surgery, the surgeon had to do a lot more than he expected once he got in, and it’s made recovery really hard. I realize I can’t take care of everyone, even though I feel compelled to

I have lots of new work sitting unfinished on my bench, getting to it a little at a time. Oh yeah and a beautiful fine silver and 24k gold heart pendant made for my aunt mysteriously disappeared in the mail, the ONE time I don’t insure something. Bleech. So that’s getting remade as well.

Happier things!  Evan has his first taekwondo competition the other night. He was competing against mostly older kids with higher belts and came out of it with a good sportsmanship medal, and a 2nd place trophy for one step sparring. Pretty AWESOME! The really cool part was when he would go to the kids who didn’t do so well and high five them, or go to the kids who beat him, and tell them ‘good job!’ A low point was a friend of his who is his age but in a class with younger kids- predictably came out with 4 trophies, and taunted Evan about it. Once I explained that it was because his friend was competing against kindergartners, and that Evan was against his age and older with higher belts, Evan was OK. Great pic isnt it?

Grateful? Oh yes, that my family got through this summer, also that I realized I am inadequate to take care of everyone and am becoming ok with it, and mostly that my son is so amazing.

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