Out of the Margin

I have always found myself marginalized. I am honest enough with myself to know that it has been self inflicted, due to the usual litany of insecurities. But in the course of my incredible adventure as a mom, I am involved with my son’s school and have been forcing myself to be social, to come out of the margin and onto the main page. It’s hard, I stink at small talk, feel trivial, have no idea what other people find engaging, and am painfully shy on top of it all.

I have been selling my work, quietly, on line a bit at a time, for awhile and one of the other mothers discovered my etsy site, and purchased a big ol’ bunch for herself in June or thereabouts and ever since, she has been gently, persistently after me to do a party at her home. I finally did it, last Saturday night. The entire week prior I spent scared out of my mind, butterflies, hands shaking, wondering if anyone would believe I had suddenly contracted dengue fever.  Understand that the guest list was comprised mostly of other moms from our school and if I flopped, this was serious home turf, these were women I see and interact with on an almost daily basis, would I have to wear a bag over my head? put Evan in another school? oh crap.

The night arrived, and I was do or die brave and Juliann was so very gracious, so extremely incredibly generous, and so totally on my side. When I saw my work out on her table in her beautiful home, I actually calmed down. It looked amazing. I realized that I am good at this; I make beautiful original art jewelry. How great is that?

When the guests arrived, and start browsing, I could not believe the reaction I was getting, they liked it….a lot. They bought….a lot. They asked for special work…a lot. More parties. You aren’t charging enough. You’re talented. It’s beautiful. Can you make this...or that…? I cried happy all the way home.

I was out of the margins. And I like it...a lot.

And I am so very grateful to JuliAnn for scribbling in my margin, and showing me my wings.  I have such wonderful friends.